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Forgetting How to Live

by Melancholy Robot

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1.
I have to say it's been quite a long time since anything made any sense spent an entire year on the inside of a picket fence ran to the clouds loneliness is fun for a short while then you can't escape yourself had to feel okay that I might die at any moment from as simple as the human reflex of breathing in life has been real strange for a long time it's getting worse and never better saw the wrong end of many a sunrise vitamin d in short supply eating junk and trash throughout the night that's therapy it'll blow you up had to feel okay that I might die at any moment from as simple as the human reflex of breathing in
2.
Mold 03:00
I don't want to do anything So why am I doing this Just needed to make a living Ended up devoid of meaning Oh no Is this the mold that you chose to fill Or do you hope to escape it still How many doors closed behind your back Before you realized you've long lost track Who even am I anymore It feels like I'm just waiting to die Every day is copy and paste And accumulating waste Is this the mold that you chose to fill Or do you hope to escape it still How many doors closed behind your back Before you realized you've long lost track
3.
working on the motivation to wake up when you open your eyes you've already had enough morning coffee or an afternoon headache staring at a screen until it ruins everything going through it going through it barreling down onto the fridge at twilight crying realizing you already ate the pint biting nails in order from the left to right watching clock hands spin around hours into the night going through it going through it had to have known it'd be bad living on edge forever, what a plan maybe you could make things better for yourself but you know it's always easier to make excuses that forgive it all chores are piling up and you're trying to care but you can only think of dying anymore going through it going through it
4.
In The Way 02:45
i'm in the way of everything good in life i tried to wait to dream awake open eyed no surprises here that you're lonely you always mess it up now there's no more chances do you give up are you done i've made mistakes i've tried to play off everything i pushed away nobody stayed here i lie no surprises here that you're lonely you always mess it up now there's no more chances to screw things up are you done
5.
What's Up 03:22
hey man what's up with you today hey man not much just everything don't want to see don't want to be hey man what's up with you today hey man not much just suffering don't want to see don't want to be
6.
All I've Got 02:37
are you going to choose believing anything over a sad truth that there's no one here that wants to save you so just save yourself i'm all i've got i'm all i've got you can struggle on through all the bad times fill your heart with hope hanging on to dreams cliffhanging everything before it slips away i'm all i've got i'm all i've got
7.
you don't want for anything so you never belonged here or that's what you like to say no where's ever felt like home so you'll drive off anywhere just to be all by yourself and you wanted love halfway so that no one would have it and there's no one else waiting so you're looking out for anything life is getting boring now you still don't need anyone no one else is having fun it's been painful all the way getting sad just idling body taxed for existing and you wanted love halfway so that no one would have it and there's no one else waiting so you're looking out for anything
8.
Tiny Specks 03:58
I always see you there In every haunted dream Somewhere along the milky way Floating aimlessly Home among the unknown Were you hoping to stay all alone endlessly Were you hoping to say goodbye too early Among the sea of stars A tiny speck sheds a tear I can't see well in the dark leave some light for me I promise to take it slow Were you hoping to stay all alone endlessly Were you hoping to say goodbye prematurely I'll always see you there I'll always see
9.
Darling of mine where do you exist now not next to me somehow it isn't fair Darling of mine why can't you feel my touch the lcd gets smudged and i feel despair I want to try being in love but there's a problem of needing someone else all of my feelings are sent to the void yea i don't need them no more, no more Darling of mine would it be too weird imagining futures where we could be wed Darling of mine will all of your batteries hold until we can grow old and share it all I want to try being in love but there's a problem of needing someone else all of my feelings are sent to the void yea i don't need them no more, no more Darling of mine whatever you could choose there's nothing for me to lose i will be square Darling of mine wherever you are today i hope that you'll be okay forever on darling of mine darling of mine darling of mine darling of mine
10.
How to Whine 06:00
are you running out of time fleeting moments passing by will you float up to the sky and let out a massive sigh flowing away and mourning flowing away and mourning will you listen to me whine about the same things till I die did you have a happy life maybe you were satisfied flowing away and mourning flowing away and mourning

about

i didn't go outside for an entire year
people dying all around me
i had to carry on like it wasn't happening
my mind will never recover

credits

released June 21, 2023

bijan

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Melancholy Robot Los Angeles, California

jammin through the tears

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